Last year, Emma Thomas had to walk the Defender Burghley cross-country course with a cane after being kicked in the thigh and rupturing a muscle. She still has that hole in her leg, but is now pain-free, and bidding for a third consecutive placing with Icarus, whom she has produced from a five-year-old. Im so much happier this year. I didnt realise quite how much that stressed me out last year, said the 26-year-old rider. The hole is permanent, but it isnt sore. Ive done a lot of strength work with it and tried to scaffold around it.Emma studied biological sciences at the Royal Veterinary College, but opted to event professionally after being selected as a Wesko Foundation rider in 2021.She made her five-star debut just two years later, finishing 18th at Burghley on Icarus with one of only three double jumping clears, but has struggled with imposter syndrome.Following the dreamI was going to go off and have a very normal career, but I had these two horses that went all the way to the top of sport, and why would I not follow that dream? said Emma. Its been a journey, but its helpful I have a lot more friends at this level now, and Ive had some success. Winning the under 25 championships [at Bramham] last year was a big moment for me. A real watershed moment for the imposter syndrome, because seeing all the other incredible names on that trophy cant be that bad.Ive got another couple of young horses now and seeing how much better I am at it this time around, with all the experience that these guys have given me, thats really validating as well.This is, I think, my fifth five-star. Its obviously a huge deal, but it doesnt feel like an impossible dream anymore. Pressure is a privilege and its a privilege to come. I have to remind myself of that when Im getting nervous.Imposter syndromeIcarus is one of two horses that she she has ridden since she was a teenager.Weve had to learn together and so, unfortunately, we were learning the ropes together. Its taken this long for me to feel established at this level without imposter syndrome and to trust my system, said Emma. Its really hard when you see everyone else who are much more senior and more successful than you are doing their thing. Its really hard not to think, Oh God, should I be doing that? But actually, each horse is different, and he [Icasrus] needs me to hold his hand.Thats all Ian Woodhead, who trains me, says. Hes not coaching me through any movements. Its just to be there for him, because thats all he wants from me.All of Emmas horses live out 24/7 at home, and so her groom, Will, has been spending long periods of time hand grazing Icarus at Burghley.Will is his one of his favourite human beings. Will will just sit and hand graze for two hours. Theyre in love with each other, smiled Emma.She added that the KWPN gelding measures 15.2hh or 15.3hh with shoes on.Everyone who meets him says hes so small! Thats not a secret, but I think A, I dont make anything look big, and B, he has the longest stride of anything Ive ever ridden, so he doesnt look small when hes going and he jumps so big.It stops me faffingDressage has been a tricky horse for the pair, but Emma was pleased with their test yesterday.He was so much more relaxed and really listening. I knew as we were cantering around the edge that we were going to have a better time, she said.Hes pretty easy to read in that way and he just loves it here, the crowd is slightly further back here too, which helps.Improving their performance on the flat has involved taking the pressure off, especially in the warm up.Hes been really tricky to bring up through the grades, because he panicked anytime there was anything new to learn. But hes great with his changes, and he knows exactly what hes doing with his half pass and his lateral work. So actually all I do now is pretty much long and low, because thats the only thing thats really going to improve from this point, his relaxation and his suppleness. I did one change each way and one half pass each way. The rest of the warm up is how supple can we be, how relaxed can we be. Its great for me as well it stops me faffing.Loads of staminaHaving been around here twice before, this pair are familiar with the cross-country track, although it is the first time they will tackle it in this direction. It is a completely different feel, but I think it might suit him. Having the water early on might just make him clock on and concentrate, said Emma. He slightly ran off with me down that hill last year, so the uphill climb will really help, and he doesnt run out of stamina, so having the Trout Hatchery, Defender Valley, and the Leaf Pit, in the second half doesnt worry me.Main image by Tim WilkinsonRelated contentTop riders battle with nerves, too! How one Burghley rider overcame a confidence lossProperty director and cheap ex-racehorse make their CCI5* debutBurghley top 10 in pictures: Townend leads the field after dressageHow to watch Defender Burghley Horse TrialsThe post Pressure is a privilege: rider with imposter syndrome bids for third Burghley completion appeared first on Your Horse.