But, shes not wrong.Its amazing how much environment changes your thinking. One of the reasons I switched back to my old trainer (so, my current trainer) is because I knew she doesnt mess around. Shes a tough coach, she doesnt mess around and she pushes students to actually ride the horse.Such a novel concept, I know. Who would have thought that would work?I was riding Stu, and he was feeling a bit frisky. Hes still in recovery mode from his recent hospital visit, so we had been taking it slow, but now we are amping it back up again. Hes certainly telling us how ready he is to work, as his energy levels are through the roof now (for him I mean, he didnt suddenly turn into a race horse.)My rides are focused on getting him to actually move out. Hes been a turtle his entire life, partly because his mother was the most laid back creature in existence, and partly because Im a bit intimidated by how fast he moves when hes moving like he should. (Im such a stereotype of the middle aged woman with too much horse, sigh.)So this is me admitting it, yes, I am a weanie. For the last few years, I havent asked him to move out because it feels much safer to do the western pleasure shuffle. I was wrong, I know.But my trainer isnt having any of that. Despite not actually being in a lesson, she happened to be in the ring while I was riding. She told me she wants to see a real trot. (Ive been working on the walk, so I am proud to say that that has become much bigger, with a nice swing.)So I asked him to trot. And he said, What an absurd request. For you see, I speak horse, and thats what it means when he violently throws his head down and bounces.Before I would have been scared, and probably pulled him up, circled, lost my nerve, maybe cried in the tack room a bit later. But since boss trainer is now here, she told me to send him forward.The weanie rider with the not so weanie horseSo I did. I got after him immediately and sent him forward. Well, what do you know, he gave me a bit of a tail flick, but he got over himself. Rinse and repeat a few times. He sprinted down the long side, breaking into a canter, I circled him, he broke, and I pushed him on again. He did a little head flip, I pushed him on.Basically the answer to everything was push him on.He was not happy to that he had to actually work. Its a big change for him where hes only had to give minimal effort. Of course, I knew that wasnt working, which is why hes now at a new training barn, but I cant help but feel like its been wasted time before. Why didnt my old trainer push me?I know some people advocate for a kinder approach to riding, they dont want to be screamed at, or feel belittled, but I think theres a spot in-between drill sergeant and allowing people to give up. Before, if I said something like, hes being crazy at the trot, the answer was more walk him around a bit to get him comfortable. Now its, Make him trot. Lean into discomfort. Push outside the boundaries.The only way to learn and advance is to push outside what is comfortable. Im glad Im doing it now, but it stinks that the last few years fell like a waste. Im not going to dwell on it though, because frankly my motivation to ride was basically non-existent since I was dealing with so many young kids.So I didnt care enough to try to actually try, I just went with what was easiest. But I care now though, and Im going to be pushing. Im thrilled with the amazing progress weve made in just a few weeks. To make it even better, technically I havent even had a lesson since hes still recovering, its just my trainer giving me about 3 minutes of instruction while shes giving someone else a lesson.Its so weird to me how little I was pushed before. Every time I ride now, theres a noticeable difference in how Stu goes. He starts out the ride being a jerk, and by the end hes an obedient horse. None of my lessons for the last few years went like that. It was more like, he was a jerk in the beginning, and he was a jerk in the end, but we found some tiny win to end on. I really feel like this was because there was no pushing. It was just accepting that he was a jerk, and I was a weanie, and hopefully next time will be marginally better.Im not trying to cast blame on anyone because I know I wasnt fully committed. In the end it was my fault. But overall, Ive noticed a big trend in a different style of horsemanship. Its more permissive, with emphasis on just allowing the horse to do what it wants. It wants to be gentle and kind, which is admirable, but horses dont communicate like that. I was taught the more traditional, pony club way, with firmness and boundaries, but Ive literally seen trainers being ripped apart for promoting it. Im shocked theres been such a change. Instead of pushing the horse forward, people people are getting animal communicators to find out why hes unhappy.I want to explore this way deeper, but I need to gather my thoughts and do some research on this. As a whole, I agree with kindness to the horse, but I feel like most people have been kind to horses for decades now. Theres always going to be overly harsh weirdos, but thats not the norm. But most people, since the time when Xenophon wrote his book on horsemanship, have considered the partnership of the horse above all else. But since the invention of the automobile, and horses became leisure animals, theres definitely more emphasis on the welfare of the horse.Hopefully my weanie days are behind me. But Im really interested in the general vibe of horsemanship since the rise in social media. So stay tuned.The post My Trainer Called Me a Weanie appeared first on An Equestrian Life.