I havent been able to ride much over the past few years. Its been sporadic at best. This is the life of a parent though, kids take a lot of attention that may otherwise be used for riding. Now that my kids are old enough to function and do their own taxes, I decided Im going to make riding work again. Ive been detailing it a lot on my YouTube channel, definitely go check it out. But I want to talk about one thing in particular: Fear.Riding fear is really common. Its amazing how something we love so much can also scare us. Obviously we dont want to be scared of it we dream of blissful rides, making the gallop through open fields, wind in our face, a beautiful sunset on the horizon. We want to do that, but then we think, what if my horse wont stop? What if he crashed into something? What if he starts bucking. All the what if?s hit us hard. Its much easier to just stay in our safe spot, doing out little trot sets, avoiding anything that might have bad results.Stu, my only riding horse now since I sold my beloved Berry, is a giant, green warmblood. Hes been in training over the years, but I personally havent ridden him very much, because of the aforementioned children. Finally, I have now worked out a system where I am actually riding him multiple times a week, but now theres a bunch of factors that make me feel afraid.The primary factors are being out of riding shape, the ring being very isolated, and just the general feeling of not knowing Stu very well, feeling like he could react to something unexpected.The most obvious answer is to take some lessons to regain my confidence and I have. I just took one a few days ago actually! Ive been trying a few times to start up lessons, and it hasnt been working out due to my weird schedule revolving around the kids. Im working on getting a regular weekly lesson slot now though.But theres also something inside of me that just hates the principle of it. Not against the principle of lessons, I love lessons. Its that Ive taken hundreds of lessons over the years, studied so much about riding, and I do know what I should do. I hate being reliant on someone else to hold my hand to be able to ride. I dont want to feel scared just because that person isnt there. The amount of time Ive spent riding green horses should have made some kind of impact!.I really believe its just a mental block. Im timid and scared, unless Stu actually acts up. Then I revert into serious training mode, this is how we are doing it, I mean business. I need to be in serious training mode from the start.The fear video above I posted nearly a month ago. The good news is that my confidence has vastly improved since then. I wouldnt say that Im ready to gallop through open fields (cause I dont think hed stop) but I really feel way more confident.Here are some of the ways I built up my confidence riding.Strategies for Building Your ConfidenceRiding INstructor / TrainerIm going to state the most obvious one first get help. If youre really scared, having someone to stand with you and coach you is probably the best thing you can do. Ive done this with multiple horses, and Ive always been thrilled with the results. Theres probably no faster way to build up your confidence.Again, I will admit that this is not the strategy I primarily used, but I have been taking lessons on and off with my trainer, it just hasnt been on a consistent basis. Its been hard to schedule lessons around childcare. But again, I took a lesson a few days ago, and Im going back on a regular schedule now.Really, theres no reason to struggle and be upset when you can get help and guidance. I highly recommend this as the first option to be considered. If you feel theres no trainers around you, consider traveling trainers, haul in trainers, even virtual trainers. Or even try searching on YouTube, theres some big name trainers on there who give advice. Theres options to be considered. You dont have to go at this alone, and sometimes all it takes it a few lessons (or sometimes even just one) until youre enjoying your horse so much more.Review the Horses Training Go Back to BAsicsWhen I thought about the reasons I was scared, I realized a lot of it came from a feeling of not being in control. Ive complained in the past about Stu feeling like a train, just barreling forward in whichever direction he feels like. So the answer was to go back in his training, and work on his steering. I spent a lot of time just working on retraining basic turning. Yes, he should have already known this, but for whatever reason, he didnt.I started out on the ground, teaching him to give to the bit, and then I moved onto riding him at the walk, reinforcing giving to the bit. We did a lot of work at the walk, doing lots of turns and halting. When we moved on to the trot, he was responding much better, and I did feel in control. It had felt slow to do so much work at the walk, but it really paid off.If youre able to pinpoint the exact behavior of your horse that is making you uncomfortable, you can go back to the basics and retrain your horse. That is definitely an oversimplified thing to say, since theres a huge range of horse behaviors that could make someone uncomfortable, but if you can figure it out, going back to the basics of training can help fix holes.Working On YourselfTheres a good reason why theres a specific position used while riding, heels down, back straight It gives you the most secure seat. Equitation isnt for looking pretty, its the most effective way to use your own body.When I first started riding again, my body was not used to it. But one of the benefits of creating my YouTube channel was that I got a ton of footage to review my position. I could see my own mistakes, and remember to fix them on the next ride. Fixing my own position gave me a stronger base, making me feel more secure in the saddle. I still need a lot of improvement, but improvingOf course, having a trainer there coaching would have been immediate results and way faster than filming myself, reviewing the footage, and then remembering for the next time. Just saying!Pushing Outside Your Comfort ZoneThere comes a certain point where, if youve put in the background work, youve just go to do it. If your dream is to ride from the arena to the barn instead of walking it, at some point youve just got to get on and go. If you want to trail ride, youve just go to hit the trail. Prep for it sure, maybe dont trail ride alone the first time, but the only way to get braver is to just do it. The first time can be scary, but every time gets easier.Im not recommending you do something your horse isnt ready for, dont be unsafe. But you are probably capable of more than you think. The only way to build your confidence circle is to push it out, little by little. Every ride push yourself a little bit more. Gradually steps, baby steps, moving towards your ultimate goal of riding freedom.Circling once more to the trainer having a trainer will help with this confidence building. They are going to keep pushing you, little by little, to build you up. You dont need to do it alone.Thats the goal for Stu and I. Were going to keep pushing, little by little, until I can gallop through those fields again. Until I can head out on a trail ride without worry. Well get there, not today, or tomorrow, but even if it takes a while, well get there eventually. Enjoy the journey of working and learning with your horse, and it wont feel like an unachievable challenge. Itll be a natural progression of growing as a horseperson.Check out my recent lesson below.The post Building Up Riding Confidence appeared first on An Equestrian Life.