We are hardwired to keep ourselves safe and failure in any sphere can feel threatening. NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming) specialist Tracey Cole explains what this means for equestrians and how to overcome it. The fear of failure is deeply rooted in our biological survival mechanisms. Your unconscious mind has one primary job, which is to keep you safe. For horse people, failure is rarely just about a missed rosette or a poor dressage score. Generally, fear is often linked to physical safety and the primal fear of losing control. For equestrians specifically, it is losing control of a large animal.Potential loss of control switches on your alert systems and, when you contemplate failure, your brain often perceives it as a threat to your survival or your social standing. This triggers the amygdala, the brains emotional response centre, and creates a physical fight-or-flight response.Because riding involves an equine partner, the stakes feel higher. You may feel that you are not just failing yourself, but your horse, too. Recognising that this fear is simply your brain trying to protect you can be the first step in dialling down the intensity of that response. PROBLEM: I get so disheartened when I cant repeat results from a lesson at home. Its like Im not good enough on my own.FIX IT: This is a classic case of an external locus of control, where you believe your success is dependent on someone else, in this case your instructor. Your thoughts disempower you as you surrender your own agency over to someone else.To shift this, you can use an NLP technique called anchoring.During your next lesson, when things are going well and everything comes together, take a moment to notice exactly how it feels in your body.Associate that feeling with a physical trigger, such as touching your thumb and forefinger together.When you are at home alone, you can fire this anchor to bring back that resourceful state.Additionally, try to internalise your instructor. Record your lessons and listen back to the specific phrases they use. By repeating these instructions to yourself out loud while riding on your own, you bridge the gap between having an expert present and becoming your own coach. PROBLEM: My negative thoughts about failure start to spiral before I get on my horse. How can I stop them in their tracks?FIX IT: When thoughts spiral, they are usually running on a loop that your brain has practised many times. You need to break the cycle. A simple technique is the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding exercise. Before you mount, stop and name: Five things you can see Four things you can touch Three things you can hear Two things you can smell One thing you can tasteThis pulls your brain firmly into the present. If the thoughts persist, use the stop technique. Say the word stop out loud, or loudly and firmly in your head, and visualise a big, red stop sign. Then replace that thought with a how question, such as, How can I make my first transition smooth? This moves your brain from problem-mode to solution-mode. PROBLEM: When I mess up a stride or schooling exercise, I become overwhelmed with the feeling that I am letting my horse down and I stop wanting to try. How can I escape this pattern?FIX IT: In NLP, we say there is no failure, only feedback. A missed stride is simply a single data point telling you that the preparation wasnt quite right.Your horse does not have the same concept of being let down as you do. If you dwell on a mistake from two minutes ago, you are no longer present with them and your communication could become fuzzy and unfocused. This is what truly affects your horses performance. To break this pattern, try the memory-sandwich technique. Acknowledge the mistake, immediately recall a time when you got that same exercise perfectly right at this level or lower, then focus on the next step you need to take. By sandwiching the error between two positive or productive thoughts, you prevent the emotional overwhelm from taking hold. With practice, youll move from receiving feedback as a mistake and instead reframe it as an example of learning and growing your skills.PROBLEM: My fear of failure is linked to what other liveries think of me. I feel ridiculous for caring about it so much. Can I get past this?FIX IT: Humans care about what others think due to our ancestors needing the protection of a tribe. We need to feel part of a community and be respected. However, we often suffer from the spotlight effect, where we overestimate how much others are truly noticing us. Most people are far more concerned with their own horses and their own insecurities.Use the following perceptual positions to reduce your focus on what others think of you: Imagine you are standing on the side of the school looking at yourself. From that distant perspective, you will likely see a rider who is simply trying their best. Really embody the observer as you do this: what are they thinking, watching, noting, if anything? Then, shift your perspective to that of your horse. Do they care what the liveries think? Not at all. He only cares about your clarity, your calmness and the conversation you are having with them. Be your horse for a minute. How do you react when your rider focuses more on others than on you? By focusing entirely on the conversation between you and your horse, you can tune out the background noise of the yard. Lastly, imagine being you, on your horse. How do you feel now, knowing about these extra perspectives?Meet the expert Tracey Cole is a master trainer of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) and trainer of hypnotherapy, with a specialism in equestrianism. Visit traceycolenlp.comRelated contentHow to stop worrying about what other riders think of youEight ways to feel more confident in the saddleFeeling the pressure? Annikas tips for managing competition nerves *VIDEO*Escape the arena and find your hacking confidenceThe post Do you suffer from a fear of failure? What it means and how you can beat it appeared first on Your Horse.