I had the pleasure of organizing a clinic with Courtney Crane in the spring of 2021. Something I’ve learned to appreciate in great horse people, and something that I saw in her, is emotional fortitude and steadiness. Something she shared that seemed to reinforce that was a simple saying of “not this, that!”. As she worked with a horse, instead of punishing the wrong behavior, she just reemphasized the desired behavior. It took the emotion right out of her training. That saying really stuck with me. And lately, I haven’t been able to get it out of my head. Except right now I feel like it’s life talking to me, not me talking to a horse. As you may know, I moved to Germany last July. I was meant to start my bereiter apprenticeship, a program that would last two years, and then I’d finally be ready to call myself a proper horse trainer. It was a clean, simple plan, but as you can imagine, it didn’t work out that way.  When I began my apprenticeship I was pleasantly surprised by the hours and how manageable the whole thing seemed. I felt well prepared, like my Working Student positions in the U.S. had done their duty of preparing me for the “real” world. Kind of like the way high school is meant to prepare you for college. My previous positions and my previous bosses had done a good job. But in this new chapter of mine,  something didn’t sit right with me. Looking back at my journal, there were early indications that it was not the right fit for me. Five days in, I didn’t want to get out of bed. In hindsight, that was a good intimation of what was to come. I learned that a highly competitive stable in Germany was not the place for me. The pressure that competition puts on riders, and in turn horses, was more than I wanted to bear. I felt the horses were at a disadvantage because they had been deemed worthy enough to compete. Similarly, the team around the horses, from riders to grooms, seemed to put competitive success as the highest priority. I had just spent a year learning about horse psychology and how to see when a horse is anxious or unhappy, and to be put in an environment where that wasn’t acknowledged eventually pushed me beyond my limits.  I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t really understand why. After all, this was what I had been working towards for years. I could see a clear path where this position would be the perfect stepping stone to eventually being an international competitor myself. But what my soul knew was that I wanted nothing to do with this. If this was what it took, then I was out. That left me in a very uncertain place for my future. This wasn’t what I wanted, but what was? In the past, I could see myself running a traditional training program, but now that seemed uninspiring, unfulfilling. I didn’t know which of my skill bases I should expand, if at all. Part of me wanted to run away screaming. It just felt so hopeless; my idols had not lived up to my expectations.  One day, as I was hand walking a horse, I realized that I’d been getting through the days by dissociating. I tucked my true self away, and just let the shell of me go through the motions. I looked over at the tall mare that I’d grown fond of. I listened to her grind her teeth. I thought, “Maybe this is how they do it. Maybe this is how they make it through the day…” The difference being, I could go home. I could (and did) quit. She didn’t have a choice. And I suppose that’s what opened my eyes to the absurdity of it all. The horses are there at no fault of their own, the least they deserve is to be listened to. "What my soul knew was that I wanted nothing to do with this." People are fundamentally good, and one person alone is never at fault. What I’ve realized, is that in Germany, this system has been built up over generations, and people get sucked into it without even knowing. And within this system, there is a lot of pressure to perform, especially at the top stables. Unfortunately, the vicious cycle repeats itself when the revered stables perpetuate this toxic mindset and the rest of the industry follows suit. What we get as a result is a lot of stressed, tired people that lose sight of what’s really important. That’s when you see young horses pushed at a pace that their fragile bodies can not withstand, and their fragile minds even less.  When life told me not this, that! I didn’t listen. I took yet another job working with horses that went in a completely different direction. While this job wasn’t involved in the competition world, I still felt like there was something else I craved. A different type of knowledge than I had acquired so far on my journey.  Finally, I realized what the that! was.  In Glennon Doyle’s Untamed she says “Heartbreak delivers your purpose”. What breaks my heart is misunderstood horses. And that is my that! I suppose there are many ways that I could delve into this heartbreak. And I’ve already tried out a few routes. Along these paths, I’ve uncovered new aspects of the horse industry I didn’t know even existed, but I felt unsatisfied; like there was another layer to it all. I feel an urge to know and learn as much as I possibly can about horses, from the cells up. So one day, as I was talking to my dad from my small Münster apartment, I had a strong gut feeling as I thought out loud about going back to school.  My path is through education. I want to study and learn everything I can about horse behavior from a scientific side and help spread that knowledge. I want to help people to understand that if the basic needs of a horse are met and understood, they will do almost anything for you. But I need to be able to defend the facts with science, experience, education, and authority, or else my contribution will be drowned out by the traditionalism that plagues this industry. There is already so much information out there that people do not know exists, but there’s also a lot to be researched still. I hope my unique perspective from the high-stress competition world, to natural horsemanship, to research-backed science will give me the tools to improve the lives of horses in every situation, even those that we see as well-cared for.  Once I’ve ventured into this field, I’m sure I’ll be drawn to something new again, but that feels like the exciting thing about life, and the force that propels me towards tomorrow. Feature photo by CMJ Photography

The online shopping platforms for horses have never been more active, and it's easy to understand why. They give the seller opportunities to find clients directly (without trainers, brokers, or intermediaries), and allow buyers to sort through a vast number of available horses without hopping on a pricey flight (not to mention navigating COVID restrictions). Today's fast-paced market is also prompting people to be more open to the risk of shopping online, with horses getting sold just mere hours after their video is posted online.  While you may not be keen to buy a horse sight unseen, why not start from behind your computer to analyze what’s out there? If nothing else, it's fun to look and drool over some beautiful horses. Here are my guidelines for effective online horse shopping: Shopping List Write down your dream horse criteria. This is a great exercise to get you thinking about what's important to you in a horse, what's not, and what you'd be willing to compromise on. Things like:  Age range Goal level Type of horse: unbroke, green horse, intermediate horse, experienced horse, schoolmaster, etc. Preferred color Preferred sex Budget range Horse blood level (dead-brain, nice blood, fiery, …) And everything else you can think of The list can continue on, as it'll help you narrow down the field of horses to suit your needs. Listen: The Horse Market Is Bananas. Let's Discuss (w/ Hope Glynn)  Be realistic! Often, this 'unicorn' of a horse we wish for comes at a hefty price. Why? Expensive horses get their price tag from the simple economic concept of supply and demand, topped by our unregulated horse market, which means that, in the end, a horse is worth what someone else is ready to pay for it. The 2022 high market prices can certainly feel discouraging, but I'd encourage you to not lose hope. There are plenty of horses out there waiting to find their new owners, and sometimes it just comes down to the patience one has during the search process. Filter, Filter, Filter… Creating this checklist will help narrow down the search engines on a horse shopping platform. Don’t be hesitant to ease up your checklist (especially when referring to appearance aspects). Being flexible on your criteria is somewhat important as we are dealing with living, breathing animals. Although, something that should never be compromised during the shopping process is the horse’s readiness to tackle YOUR level of training and riding. This question should help you simplify the above concept: “What type of horse and level of experience will suit me as a rider today?” If you don’t totally know the answer to this question maybe e-shopping should remain a fun “window-shop” activity and instead you should lean on your trainer or seek professional help to guide you through the process. Checklist in hand, it's time to find your best e-shopping site and translate the list in search engines. Some sites to get you started (but there are others out there!): Ehorses.com, bigeq.com, ussporthorses.com, equirodi.com, horse-pass.online  Detective Work You've found your website(s), refined your research and it leads you to pages and pages of horse profiles to read from. You're probably asking yourself, "What do I do now?" Organization - Next time you're scrolling, make sure to put a “like” beside every profile you want to see again. A misplaced “closed page click” can happen so easily. By doing this, you can then review the liked list anytime you want going forward.  Distance - If you are not willing to buy without trying, what is the maximum distance you would like to travel? Often, the sites offer a mile radius search criteria. Be sure to take advantage of this feature to reduce your chance to fall in love with an unreachable horse. Videos and More Videos - If an advertisement comes with one or more videos, that's great. You shouldn’t feel shy to ask for more videos and also when the videos were taken. If your interest in a horse is strong, I suggest you have at least home videos and show videos to look through.  Show Results - Results are still an important part of the selection. If eliminations occurred, you should ask why. Not every horse OR rider has a blank sheet. Unfortunate events do happen, and they're not always a deal-breaker, but you should always know the story behind it.  Communication with the Seller - Today`s number one phone app used in the equestrian community is, without a doubt, Whatsapp. This application facilitates international calls, video transfers, etc. I personally often start a new conversation by leaving a voice message on Whatsapp. In that voice message, I present myself and ask more information about the horse I am interested in. This personal touch might make you stand out from all the other messages a seller might receive after posting his or her advertisement. Obvious Questions - Never be shy to ask questions that might seem obvious to you. Some examples include: Does the horse has any stall tics (air sucking, weaving, biting, kicking, etc.)? Did the horse have any important injuries? How long have you owned him? This helps to establish the storyline. Is he brave with other horses at the show? Does he travel well? Can he be handled by anyone? Documentation - After a discussion with the seller, this is the information you should have gathered to make a clear decision in the end: Results: regional, national, international Papers: link with pedigree info or picture of passport Videos Confirmation pictures X-rays and vet report (if applicable) Ready, Set, Whoa… On some ads, you might see the common phrase “Serious buyers only”. But what does that really mean? You can imagine the hefty amount of responses a seller can receive with an attractive horse post. Nothing stops you from contacting a seller for more info. The only question you should ask yourself is, "Are you really ready to buy a new horse today?" The horse market moves fast, so if you ask about a horse now and plan to purchase it next summer or after you sell your current horse, it might be better to hold off on your search quest until you are absolutely ready.  SOLD? I remember listening to The Equestrian Podcast back in 2018 where Noëlle Floyd was talking about her debut and bad horse import experience from Europe to the U.S.A.  Most of the conversation was how those two horses did not turn out to be what she thought they would be. The story of someone buying the “wrong” horse is way more common than some like to admit. Horse shopping is not easy and should not be easy. Taking your time to make a rational decision without skipping steps is truly important whether it's online or offline. P.S. Don’t forget that a “too good to be true” horse advertisement is probably in fact, too good to be true.Read this next: Secrets of a Horse and Rider Matchmaker

Last summer, trying to beat traffic on the way to the barn and unable to find a pair of clean breeches, I threw on a pair of cheap yoga leggings and bolted to my car. The long drive was far more comfortable without a buttoned waistband and belt digging into me, and the leggings were cooler in the late-August humidity than even my lightest breeches. I’d thought I might feel a bit slippery in the saddle, but didn’t notice any difference while riding.  Pleased with my discovery, I kept wearing the leggings to hack, but found myself slinking around the barn, vaguely embarrassed and convinced someone would catch on. I could hear the voice of my first hunter-jumper trainer chiding me, the same trainer who made us dismount in lessons to hand-pick any missed shavings out of our horses' tails: “We ride in breeches, belts and collared shirts. It’s about respecting your horse, your trainer, and the sport.” I hadn’t seen that trainer in decades, and my actual barn had a pretty relaxed approach to apparel. While breeches and sunshirts were a typical look, most riders were long-time clientele who saw the barn as a second home and had no fear of occasionally looking, to quote a barnmate, “a bit schlubby.” While I still dressed nicely for lessons, complete with clean saddle pad, tack, and equine partner, I couldn’t shake the feeling that my secret leggings habit was breaking some unwritten rule. And when I got home, I couldn’t stop Facebook and Instagram from dangling the latest, greatest riding gear at me when I just wanted to zone out and look at photos of my friends’ horses.  The more I thought about it, the more amazed I was that everyday riding gear in the hunter/jumper world had gone from the cheap cotton polo shirts of my youth to today’s $250 backpacks and $400 breeches. Reaching out to other riders, I heard a huge range of opinions: many people were happy to spend money on tried-and-true products that they knew were made to last, while others expressed stress over having the “right” riding clothes and the increasing cost of those clothes. Three people independently made the point that $200 or $225, which only a few years ago would have bought you the priciest breeches on the market, is now considered a mid-tier price point.   Sarah G., who rides in Michigan, told me, “I moved a couple years ago and started doing ‘serious riding’ at a hunter/jumper barn again and realized that even the more casual riders showed up in $200 breeches and $500 helmets, and I was wearing old hoodies. Being plus sized and on a tight budget is really, really hard. I have one or two nice things that I wear to the barn over and over. I hate how insecure I feel. I’ve never actually been judged by anyone there — it just feels wrong to stick out for not looking as nice.”  When I asked Sarah what might change how she felt about the clothing norms at her barn, she said “I know if I saw the other riders show up in t-shirts, I’d want to do the same. I genuinely think I just need to start seeing my peers doing it. And it would help to acknowledge how silly this all is: ‘Isn't it insane that nice breeches can cost $300?’” Read this next: Can you make progress with little to no ride time? “We don’t need to spend $15 for socks!” said Mel G., a pleasure rider in Texas. “You can just use regular socks.” She added that while she understands spending more on items like shirts with UPF protection, there’s similar options at mainstream retailers that are much lower in price than those marketed toward equestrians.  This pressure to dress a certain way or wear certain brands, whether internal or external, is only amplified by social media. Instagram in particular feels like an online mall, as influencers and regular riders alike tag every item in their #ROOTD and the app itself pushes its shopping features.  “A tan pair of breeches is a tan pair of breeches,” said Sarah. “But I think now that people are able to highlight the brands they’re wearing on social media, it’s created a hyperawareness of what specifically people have on.” One influencer bucking this trend is Kelly Wilson of Hunky Hanoverian and the Amateur Hour podcast, who previously announced that she would no longer tag products or brands in her everyday posts. Impressed, I asked her why she’d decided to leave product tagging behind, and she said, “I felt like a younger version of me would struggle seeing my own account. When I was growing up, I was lucky enough to have horses, but they lived at my house. I did not have fancy riding clothes at all, and I don’t want that to be the focus of riding. I know juniors follow my account, and I don’t want them to think they need to have a certain brand name to ride.”  She added that she does still plan to occasionally feature brand partnerships and products that she’s tried and tested: “As a culture we’re starting to be more eco-conscious, wanting to spend a little more money on a quality piece that’s going to last a long time. The only way to know about durability is if someone tells you. I want fellow equestrians to spend their money wisely, but I don’t want the emphasis to be on ‘you need to wear these fancy brands to be a good rider.’” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Jessie Lochrie (@jessielochrie_) The idea of conscious consumerism was echoed by Kara W., a jumper rider from New York, who told me that what she loves about riding apparel and tack is that “historically it’s been made to last. That’s the whole point of using good materials and good design. I have breeches that I’ve worn for years and they still function perfectly well and they look fine. I wish my normal clothes would function that way!” When I asked Kara about the emphasis on fashion in the hunter/jumper world, she thoughtfully replied, “If I feel pressured to be on trend at the barn, I’m not riding at the right place. It makes me sad that there’s so much consumerism, because it’s not making the horse world more accessible.”  She credited working with her trainer and her therapist to let go of limiting beliefs that were holding her back from enjoying riding to its fullest: “I am no longer a junior rider. I’m never going to do the junior hunters, I’m never going to do the U25. Those goals that I really wanted are not going to happen, and I’ve spent a lot of time working through what makes me happy in the horse world.”  Kara pointed out that not having the much-vaunted “junior career” is one of many factors that could make riders feel inadequate or compare themselves to their barnmates. As a rider who’s never had a fancy horse or rated show record, it’s easy for me to understand how dressing to impress is a strategy to overcome the feeling that you don’t quite belong. I’ve found that the stronger I get as a rider, the less I care about what I’m wearing — I am happy to wear my rattiest breeches and let my riding speak for itself. As Kara said, “I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin and who I am as a rider, so if people want to judge me for wearing the same outfit for four days in a row, that’s fine. But that took me many, many years to realize.”  While I have a closet full of nice riding gear, most of it was acquired at a steep discount when I worked at a tack shop. I’d fill fitting rooms with the newest shipments of clothes, telling riders that this breech was what everyone was wearing at WEF, or that a certain pricey helmet was our best-seller. I never lied, and I truly wanted each customer to walk out of the store feeling great. But I was keenly aware that what I was selling wasn’t shirts and boots: it was a sense of belonging in an elitist, expensive and insular sport. I’d joke that if we couldn’t ride well, we might as well look good — a sentiment I believed then and cringe at now. While I still lust after the latest life-changing half pad, I know I’ll be happier putting that cash toward a clinic or show entries rather than a new piece of tack.  “We spend too much money on this sport to not be happy,” Kara told me. “If that means having really nice gear and you can afford that, great. But if you feel pressured to spend money that you don’t have, or that you could be spending on a lesson, maybe think about that. Nicer gear won’t make you a nicer rider, it just won’t.” And horses, lest we forget, don’t care what you’re wearing at all.  Read this next: What do you do when your safe place isn't safe?

Trigger warning: Please note that the following blog may elicit difficult or uncomfortable emotions for some individuals. The barn should be a safe place and a sanctuary for children and teens. A place to learn and grow, surrounded by people with the best intentions. While there are so many opportunities to tap into bravery, become a more responsible person, and to develop deeper friendships, it may also be a place where someone who appears to have your child’s best interest in mind, has more deviant intentions. Heartbreakingly, some estimates suggest that 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys will be sexually abused before their 18th birthday. With that, 9 out of 10 times, the child knows their abuser. When it comes to sexual abuse, oftentimes the perpetrator is someone the child knows and trusts. As parents, you cannot always be with your child to keep them safe. However, you can provide them with education and tools they need to protect themselves.  It Is Never too Early to Start Talking to your Child About Body Safety There are many books and resources that can help facilitate this discussion. For younger children, “I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private” by Kimberly King is a great book to begin these conversations. Starting the conversation while your children are young allows for you to keep the lines of communication open all throughout adolescence as well. When your child asks you questions, be open and honest in an age appropriate way.  What are Boundaries and How do You Keep Them? Within the conversation on body safety, it’s also important to highlight what boundaries are and how to enforce them. First, you can discuss with your child or teen that boundaries help us stay within our comfort zone, but also set expectations for how we would like others to treat us. It may be helpful for you to provide an example of one of your own boundaries to your child. For example, it might be okay for you as the parent to help your child get dressed for the horse show but, it would be crossing a boundary if a coach or another barn staff member offered or attempted to help.  It’s Okay to Say “No” to Adults Growing up, children are taught to respect adults, and especially adults in authority, such as a coach. It can feel difficult for children and teens to practice assertiveness, especially if this coach is a person whom they believe has their best interest in mind. For example, your child or teen might feel uncomfortable saying “no” to a coach if the coach is doing or saying something that feels off-putting to your child. Educating your child and having them practice assertiveness at home may help them feel empowered to put these into play when they are faced with an uncomfortable situation at the barn (or anywhere else).  Intentionally Deceitful People Informing your child that there are people in this world that do not always have the best intentions is important. Sometimes child abusers make situations look coincidental. For example, they may manipulate a situation to end up alone with the child. This may appear to be coincidental for your child when in reality, it was planned out. Let them know that if the situation appears to be off putting, they should absolutely listen to their gut. This may look like a trainer ending up alone in the same car on the way to the horse show. While this may appear to be innocent, it creates a situation in which boundaries may be easily crossed as there is no one else around.  Know the Signs of Grooming Equestrian sports can often be very independent as a trainer (or other barn staff)  may work closely with child and teen athletes. Because of this dynamic, it is important to be educated on what grooming is. Grooming is when a child predator lures a child or teen by gaining their trust, beginning the abuse, and keeping the abuse a secret. An abuser may purchase gifts or do special things for a child. As previously mentioned, they will also find opportunities to get the child alone. The abuser may then also begin touching the child or teen “innocently” at first by acting playful or giving hugs. This is typically used to desensitize the child before the sexual touching begins. Once the sexual abuse occurs, abusers may use threats or guilt the child or teen into keeping it a secret. For example, an abuser may say, “If you tell your parents, you will lose everything you have worked for and will no longer advance in this sport. Everything will be taken from you.” This keeps the child or teen from disclosing the abuse out of fear, allowing the abuse to continue.  Grooming may also entail abusers convincing children or teens that the sexual relationship is “consensual.” The abuser may tell the teen that they will be leaving their partner for them and then the abuser and teen can “finally” be a couple. It is essential to inform your children and teens that any relationship with an adult is illegal and under no circumstance could the relationship be considered consensual.  You cannot be there to protect your child at all times, but you can provide them with the tools and education to keep themselves safe. Remember to always keep the lines of communication with your children open and provide a space for them to ask questions and receive non judgmental feedback. PODCAST: If We Can't Talk About It, We Can't Prevent It